Friday, March 6, 2009

The Ultrasound "Water Torture Test"

I had to go have an ultrasound done today. I am experiencing some unusual pain and I am sure they are checking for any cysts and such. My appointment was for 2 pm. The "directions" tell you to drink 32 fluid ounces an hour before your appointment. OK. So here is out how it went for me.

I drank my 32 fl.oz actually on the way to the appointment. I sign in and sit. I am pretty impressed with myself because I am 10 minutes early. I want a band to parade by , balloons and confetti. This is a miracle. So I sit. And I sit. At about 2:15, I am feeling quite "full". Not only do I feel like I have to go #1, I also am getting twinges of #2. I am in sooooo much trouble.

I go up to the window around 2:20 and try to whisper to the "lady behind the glass window" so the two people that just HAD to sit by this window would not hear. I explain my situation and ask if they are running behind. Stupid question because of course they are! OK then, "lady behind the glass window", what am I suppose to do? Not taking this ultrasound is out of the question. They go and ask "someone behind another set of glass windows". While I am waiting, I say, "They should use this" ultrasound water torture" on terrorists." Everyone in the little room agreed and shared how they "couldn't be able to hold it if it was them". Real encouraging.

After a few moments, a tech comes over and tells me to just let "a little" out. I laugh and say..are you kidding? When the "raging river" starts to flow, I am not sure I have a "Dam" strong enough to stop it. I thank them and sit back down. Yeah, that made it better! PRAISE THE LORD no one was there drinking some water or slurping on a soda...I may have fainted.

I can no longer take it. Sweat is starting to form on my brow. I tell my daughter that I am going to try the "little bit " approach. The tech's exact words were "just count to 20 and then stop." So as I am walking to the restroom, I am thinking, fast do I count? What if I count to slow? What if I count to fast? At this point the pressure and pain is so bad, I am wondering if I can even remember how to count to 20. My next dilemma is how I am going to do "one " and not the "other". All this worry is too much.

I reach the rest room and am concentrating on "everything" and I did it! I counted to 20, I only did "one" and I felt relief. God is so merciful! I am praising Him and being so happy that I got through this and just knew they were going to call me as soon as I sat back down in the waiting room.

Ten minutes goes by and I am off to the restroom for another "little bit". Praising God on the way out. Ten minutes later, repeated. I sit back down and then they finally call my name. I think I scared everyone with how loudly, joyously, and quickly I said "I'm here!"

Finally I get in the dark room and lay down...with my knees up. It hurts too much to put my legs straight because, guess what? My bladder is full to the "rim" again. She tells me I have to put them down and I proceed to administer a death grip on the sides of the "bed". Then she starts pressing. As she is doing this, she gives me even more great news. They are going to have to do an "internal ultrasound", too. Oh yeah!

The pain was so bad, and she was being as gentle as she could, but I broke and was literally crying. Finally, she told me that she was done and I could go empty my bladder. EUPHORIA!!!
We proceed with the "internal ultrasound" and she tells me, "Your bladder is still so full I can't see anything." OK, I just left the bathroom 10 seconds ago. Do I have the fastest filling bladder on the East Coast? Do I need to inform Guinness Book of World Records and get published? She takes pictures of what she can and then tells me to empty again.
I come back out and she says the same thing..."too full". She again does her best and informs me that we will try this one more time.
Hop back up on the "bed" and she could see! Two minutes into taking the pictures she has been waiting for, she tells me she has to hurry because my bladder is filling up again. Oh my word!
Why can't I be this productive with house work? In the end, guess what she finds?
She finds cysts...or tumors on anything.(PTL!) She told me I was going to have my period very soon though. I am surprised she didn't tell me that my bladder grew to the size of an elephant's head!
She told me that I did not qualify for Guinness Book of World Records...but I am still going to check it out!


Brenda said...

I feel your pain...been there, done that. Glad everything turned out okay...

I think they make us fill our bladders, so they can see how long we will sit and be tortured...they don't really need a full bladder to see anything...grin..

Nightowl Mama said...

wow what did u drink that u have a non-stop refilling bladder. I'd get that checked next. Glad to hear they didn't find a cyct

jbechtold said...

Wow that is no fun. I hate holding it after two kids it is that much harder. Never had a ultrasound were I had to drink water. I did have a early morning class that was 2 hours and I would always drink coffee o my way to the class. The teacher hated interuptions so I sat for as long as I could everyday. You think that I would give p the coffee after a few times.

Mica said...

WOW !!!! glad your alright....just wanted you to know regarding my post... ( i didn't mean my daughter was literally in heaven playing)...did it sound like that???? I kinda chuckled and thought..oops I wonder how that must sound.... well, thanks for popping over. see ya soon, Mica

Trina said...

I am definitely MUCH more twisted than your other nice, sympathetic friends...I almost wet my pants I laughed so hard when I read your post!
I have a tumor on my right ovary, and have to keep doing the water torture, and I found that if I don't drink anything more than usual, and start drinking during the eternal wait, by the time they get ready for the internal, she is sending me to pee because my bladder is too full to see.
It has brought more entertainment than you can imagine to picture you scurrying for the I said, twisted mind, and misery loves company!
I too am glad that you had good results! Keep up the good work, and don't let that other stuff worry you...God has it all under control!Ü

Shelby said...

" Poor, poor mommy's had a full bladder. Why can't the nurses find it in there hearts to let her go? " So sorry it hurt, hopefull it won't have to happen for a LONG time! Luv Ya!